So next Sunday is Father’s Day. A day to celebrate the father’s in our lives, whether they’re with us or not. For some of us, it’s a day for us to also be celebrated. For me anyway, it’s a pretty uncomfortable day. It’s a day where I’m the center of attention and I’m to be celebrated. I love being a dad. I’m not great at it, but it suits me and there has never been a moment where I’ve regretted the decision with my wife to become parents. It’s also a reminder of how divergent my life is from what *Father’s Day* is.
I don’t golf. I don’t eat meat. I don’t have a hammock in the back yard. I don’t do any yard-work. I don’t even have a back yard. I’m nowhere near being the poster-child for Father’s Day. In fact, in many ways I’m the anti-father Father’s Day. It’s a wonderful, awkward and painful day.
Yes, I miss my earthly father. Miss him a lot. He had a kind heart, and a big hug ready to give you. He also was deeply wounded, and I have plenty to reconcile yet. But at the end of the day, I know he loved me. It makes me angry, but I also know that he was also deeply wounded, and did what he could. I’ve heard it said that hurt people, hurt people. I’m witness to that. It makes me sad to know that he never knew a peace, or had an understanding that I have the opportunity to gain. It makes me sad to think of him as a child at any age, to have had the pressures put on him from his own wounded parents. It also makes me sad to know what my grandparents went through, and that they went through life wounded. It’s a cycle, the proverbial damaged baton that Bill talks about and I’d like to pass on one that is less broken. I’m grateful for the opportunity, it’s one I don’t take lightly.
Father’s Day is one with joy, but also one that we all experience a different range of emotions. I pray that the week ahead be one that allows you to prepare yourself for Father’s Day. Whatever it means for you, try not to shrink from the day or pretend it’s not going to happen. Lean on your father in heaven, lean on one-another.